The Vans Warped Tour: Celebrating 15 years of debauchery!

Words by Brent Conley
Photos by Joe Koch

Since its inception in 1994, the Vans Warped Tour has faced the ever-changing music scene with arms wide open. It has embraced the new acts, while introducing new fans to many of the older bands like Bad Religion, Anti- Flag and Flogging Molly that were some of the veterans on this year’s tour.

When we arrived at the Darien Lake Performing Arts Center for the July 16 performance, we headed back stage to check the press schedule and plot the day’s course. Singer Alana Grace was hanging out in the press room looking all sweet and cute. In my brief conversation with her, I instantly found myself rooting for her. I arrived late to the show and missed her set, but she was so pleasant and laidback that I knew she had the goods to make a name for herself among these rowdy boys.

This year there were six stages, down from seven last year. The big stage that is usually used for the main events at Darien Lake was split into two separate stages — the Hurley.com stage and the Smartpunk.com stage, which looked horrible. Let us not forget that the stage is about 8 feet above the crowd which most bands didn’t seem too comfortable with.

The first act that I caught was the P.O.S. set at the Hurley.com stage. When he came to the front of the stage he seemed pissed off, sitting on the edge and complaining about the lack of intimacy. After a brief introduction he grabbed a box, jumped off the stage and set up to perform from the center of the modest crowd. He also told everyone who didn’t want to stay for the whole show to fuck off. I got Goosebumps watching him tear it up. He ranted and raved with his unique vocal style. After a few songs all the little white kids were as hooked as I was. I like his music on CD but live, his stuff was amazing. At one point he had everyone waving their hands up and down in rhythm with the beat as he unleashed yet another angry rap. He even had a nice hoot-and-holler sing-along with the crowd. It went something like “Fuck…Bush! Fuck…Bush!”

I left his set early so that I wouldn’t miss the English punk-rockers TAT, who were about to kick off their set on the Hurley stage which was located on the other side of the festival grounds. As I walked through the sea of freaks and geeks I could still hear P.O.S loud and clear.

For those of you not familiar with the band TAT they are a three-piece band out of London that sounds somewhat like Joan Jett. I love bands with girl lead singers and I really love bands with cute, potty-mouthed girl lead singers. This band was a lot of fun to watch. Tatiana — the aforementioned girl singer — was wild. She stood out in front on the speakers making these somewhat sexual humping motions toward the crowd. That’s always a plus and the crowd loved it. There was some great banter between songs about how wet she was and then some talk about her “fine breasts” as she briefly squeezed them in a fun, sort of mocking way. She even grabbed her can of Monster energy drink and poured it over her head almost as if to seize her sexuality back from the gawking eyes of the crowd.

Sometimes stage antics do have repercussions. She slipped on the damp stage and tweaked her knee. High on adrenaline, she kept the show moving at warped speed, inspiring her to invite an avid fan onstage to sing a song with the band. He knew every lyric but looked like a goof on stage playing air guitar and jumping around with a huge grin on his face.

So far the Warped tour was going great. I had seen two awesome performances and figured the rest of the day would be just like the first hour and a half. Then The Maine hit the stage and I knew not every band was not going to please, but these guys were horrible! Joining them in the god-awful list were A Skylight Drive, Dance Gavin Dance, and Breathe Carolina. Why do people listen to this crap? It all sounds almost like one band playing the same song over and over.

But enough mention of those types of bands. Let’s move right into the Shooter Jennings set. I caught about three songs and was very impressed with his performance. He doesn’t jump around a lot, but is probably one of the most talented musicians on the tour. Too bad he didn’t quite fit with the Warped audience today. The crowd was sparse in front of his stage, maybe 40 to 50 people were watching. It was a shame.

I wanted to see Blacktide. I liked their music and was expecting more out of them. They are young and the crowd was not into them. They played a cool Metallica cover then went right into a new song. They tried to inspire the crowd into banging their heads and giving the band some sort of energy to work with, but struck out.

Let me just take a quick minute to say that I kind of like 3OH!3, but the kids fucking love them. By far the biggest crowd of the day was packed in to see these guys. A rough estimate would put the audience at about half of all festival attendees. They played the Main stage and they were OK. They jumped around a bit, looked like a couple of dorks, and threw beach balls into the crowd. Nothing too special. They do however have a huge mega radio hit. Enough said.

I believe it’s safe to say that not many people have heard of the band I Set My Friends on Fire.I was excited to see these guys ever since I fell in love with their version of “Crank That” by Soulja Boy. I was the only one in their audience over the age of 20, which made me feel awkward. But I was there and they were worth seeing. There music is unique. They combine elements of electronica, screamo and pop rock into one mass of in your face mosh ready music.

They were a fun band to watch. They were skinny and young. The guitarist never stopped smiling and the singer never smiled. They bounced around and cursed, giving it their all. It was interesting to see how the kids of today mosh. They beat the shit out of each other.

Something happened on the way over to see Flogging Molly. I saw a strange sight — TheDr. Madd Vibe Experiment featuring Angelo Moore from Fishbone. He had taken over a stage where the A.K.A’s were getting ready to perform and was preparing to delight us with a little ditty. This is what he does for the whole tour. He doesn’t have a set time to play. If he digs your vibe and wants to introduce you or use up some of your allotted time, he can do it. His personality is so engaging, you want to hear or see what he’s gonna do. On this night he had decided the A.K.As were worthy of his presence. This band was a surprise; old school in your face punk rock. Their show was filled with tons of energy and attitude. A really cool band.

Flogging Molly was now ready to go and so was their audience. Having done this so many times before they knew just when and where to push those buttons to make people go nuts.

During the first song a nice little tame mosh pit started to form. But, when they kicked into the next song — an aggressive jig, what was once tame and small took over the whole crowd. I was suddenly in the middle and was being smashed by teenage girls and old men alike. I made it through one more song, but then I had to make my way over to the Harley stage to see the last show of the evening — Gallows.

I was feeling good about the whole festival so far, but it was just about to get even better; Gallows was ready to kick some ass.

Out onto the stage walked a skinny little tattooed boy from England with a wicked look in his eyes and a charming smile and then all hell broke loose.

After ripping through a few songs on stage with the rest of the band, the vocalist, Frank Carter, decided to try it from the pit. Standing dead center in the pit he challenged those who were willing and even those who weren’t to put a little more vigor into their performance. You don’t just watch Gallows perform; you become part of the show. Asking the crowd what to play next he reluctantly settled on “London is the Reason.” While introducing the song he explained that playing this song so early is equivalent to taking a girl out on a date and cumming before you make it to the restaurant.

He jumped around like a man on fire. With members of the pit climbing all over him he gave it his all. Now with the crowd ready to match his intensity, he pushed it a little further. Demanding the whole crowd to participate or fuck off, he guided them into a massive circle pit, as the band stood at the center of the stage tearing it up. Frank ran like a mad man around the pit smashing into people.

Eventually making it back onto the stage, he began to make a motion like he was masturbating, asking if there was anyone out there who wanted his load. There were a few very excited girls. He found his target and was now really into his whole masturbatory performance. He let loose with a huge wad of spit and couldn’t have been happier by the sight of it.

Knowing that their time was up didn’t stop them. The bassist, Stuart, lead them into another song. The lights were turned off and some of the people to the side of the stage looked pissed but they were gonna finish the show on their own terms. They were amazing and were without a doubt the best show of the day. By the way they don’t seem to have much respect for some of the other acts on the Warped tour, calling out Brokencyde and Jeffree Star by name, saying that they sucked and were a waste of your hard-drive space.

Overall it was a great day filled with great music. Sure there were bands which didn’t fit in, but the diversity definitely added to the whole experience. I don’t have to like every band that played and believe me I didn’t. But it’s not all about what I like because these kids loved a lot of what I would call crap. The current state of music is all about hard drives and singles. In the past it was about the whole album, a nice big black vinyl album. What does the future hold?

For more information go to: www.warpedtour.com